Not the wedding I dreamed of…

I honestly never used to picture what my wedding would be like until social media became a thing. All of those picturesque, fairy-tale like scenes on Pinterest. The big, flowy ball gowns with diamonds and jewels throughout, perfectly fitted on beautiful brides to look like princesses.

Every venue was just gorgeous, packed with hundreds (sometimes thousands) of guests, loads of decorations neatly and precisely placed, and professional photographers who could capture each moment perfectly.

The more I saw these pictures and heard the stories, the more I wanted it for myself.

I created my own Wedding board on Pinterest and got to work! I added the exact bouquet I wanted, the color theme, MY dress that I NEEDED to have in order to even consider getting married, and tons of pictures of rustic barns because nothing else could possibly do.

This was all before I was engaged. Before Stephen and I even spoke about engagement actually. But it was what I knew needed to happen in order for me to be a happy bride one day.

Once Stephen did propose to me, you better believe I immediately started planning all the little details of our wedding.

Ring pic

The thing I started realizing? In order to get the Pinterest wedding I always wanted, we would have to go into debt…a LOT of it. And, even while just in the beginning stages on planning, we were already getting extremely stressed out. I wanted to get married the next year, but with everything we needed to do and the money we needed to save, it would have to be put off for much longer.

I was so conflicted. I prayed every day about it. I wanted to have a beautiful wedding, something I would be happy with. This was MY day! But, as the days were passing, my desire to marry the man God had for me grew stronger.

Each day I prayed, it seemed that I wanted the big, fancy wedding less and less. I began to realize that maybe my desire for it was based on what society says is “ideal”, and not what I truly wanted after all.

I asked myself “what do I want right now”? All that kept coming to me was “To marry Stephen and start a family together.”

So, I thought about it..If we were to put this off and invest all of our money into a one-day celebration that will be over in just a few hours, then we wouldn’t be able to start our family for quite a few years. We wouldn’t be able to save for a house. We would probably be extremely stressed out during the planning and the day of, that we wouldn’t remember half of what happened that day.

We would be more concerned with our guests than our first precious moments as husband and wife.

Now, please don’t take this as me putting down anyone who chooses to have a big wedding. We still plan to have one ourselves one day as a vow renewal! If you have the money and patience to plan it, go for it! It will be amazing.

But for us personally, we are both very simple people. We don’t need much. Nor do we really want much more than what we have. And this was a realization I am truly glad God brought me to. I realized…this wedding isn’t about ME, its about Him and our coming together as one for HIM.

The crazy thing is, I didn’t exactly bring it up to Stephen. He actually brought it up to me. He threw out the possibility (he says he was half-serious, not sure what I would say about it), “what if we just got married this weekend”?

At the time, we had been having a bit of an argument because I was stressed about it all and we both just wanted to be married already. I wasn’t sure whether to take what he said seriously, but I honestly didn’t care anymore, I ended up agreeing to it. So, he said we would make it happen.

I was in shock that we were actually going to be doing this! But as time got closer and closer, it just felt right and everything fell into place perfectly.

I will say, it took a bit longer than that weekend, but each day we were taking care of something for our special day. We got our birth certificates, then our marriage license. Then the next day we went and got our wedding rings and told our parents. We somehow got the perfect officiant to help us with our vows.

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I found a beautiful dress that fit my personality to a T. And my family was able to make up some decorations to make our little ceremony special. We invited only our immediate family. This one was difficult at first since we wanted our close friends to be apart of our special day, but they were all very understanding.

So, we got our wedding planned out within a week and a half! Throughout that whole week, Stephen and I were praising God for His goodness and blessing our relationship. He was moving things along for us to make this happen. I knew it was all meant to be this way.

 

The ceremony was beautiful. It was done at a nearby park in front of an archway that my parents set up in the perfect spot, right near the water fountain. I asked my sister and sister-in-law to use their photography skills and capture each moment. We got to focus on our love and devotion to God and each other, while our family was there to witness it. Then after saying our goodbyes, we headed off to our gorgeous hotel for the night.

Not much about our wedding was traditional, or anything like what I thought I wanted years ago…it was even better! It was more “us” than anything else we could have had. To us it was genuine, elegant, simple, and not so crazy stressful! And now we can do exactly what we have been wanting for a while now, to start our own family and glorify God through our marriage.

I write this not only to share with you a bit about how our special day was, but for anyone who may be considering a small ceremony themselves, to know that it can be just as special and beautiful as any Pinterest wedding. Everyone is different, with unique priorities and desires for life. Go with what makes you and your future spouse happy. Don’t listen to what everyone else wants for you or thinks would be best. If you stick to what makes you feel best, you will have zero regrets and be so glad you did it!

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Thank you so much for stopping by and reading! I hope you enjoyed my little story and maybe got something out of it for yourself. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. What kind of wedding are you planning on having?

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8 thoughts on “Not the wedding I dreamed of…

  1. Congratulations! Social media can really have an influence on couples who are planning a wedding. I am glad you did not allow your Pinterest boards to mar the beautiful day you had. The most important thing is the love both of you share and what you’ll do after the one-day ceremony. God bless you for sharing!

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  2. Congrats! I’m the same way right now that you were at first – pinning everything I could possibly want at my wedding. But realistically, I know I’m not going to get all the things I want (right now). By the time my future wedding even comes around, I’ll probably change everything I want to save money for the future. Loved your dress also!

    Sarah | getupgetaway.com

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  3. Congratulations on your beautiful wedding! I realised that weddings are expensive in the social media age and if we are to focus and want all that we see we would die from debt!

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  4. I really enjoyed reading about your special day. I agree that it’s too easy to get carried away due to what you see on social media. I think your day sounds absolutely perfect and at the end of the day you got to marry the man you love. Congratulations xx

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